so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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