I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
