Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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