If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
