I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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