she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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