its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
