It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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