I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
