i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Drake has all the answers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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