you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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