I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize