Quick, to the slutcave!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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