I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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