mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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