I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
