Whod you bang
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
