You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
