You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
