we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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