drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
