Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
