Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
