Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
