R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
