I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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