youre lurking in front of me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
