he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize