i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
