i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
