He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
