She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
