i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
