Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's paint friendship bongs
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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