I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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