I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
