Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
