oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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