I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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