Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
