We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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