it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
