I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize