I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
