I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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