i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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