nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
