Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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