Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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