Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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