Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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