I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
