he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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