I wish I could punch you in the face.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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