ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
