Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
