I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
