it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where is the hickey?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
