Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
