she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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