Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
