Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
