they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Come on in and take your pants off
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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