my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
