I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
